1. Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people, and kill them.
2. Until I was 13, I thought my name was ‘Shut Up’
3. Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use
4. Work is fine if it doesn’t take up too much of your time
5. Born free; Taxed to death
6. If our constitution allows us free speech, why are there phone bills?
7. Someday is not a day of the week
8. If you tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe, he’ll believe you. But if you tell him a park bench has just been painted, he has to touch it to be sure.
9. The road to success is always under construction.
10. Life is unsure; always eat your desert first